Annie, 33, Marketing
A book-lovin’ man . . . you were a rarity in my parade of well-intentioned, but poorly-read exes. We talked about the types of books we liked, and I mentioned the one, my favorite, that made me want to be a better person once I read it.
When you expressed interest in this book—really the first time you expressed much interest in anything I said—I was excited. Maybe this book would help YOU want to be a better person. To not be so self-centered, to stop putting yourself two steps in front of me when we were walking down the street, to generally stop saying the stupid crap I once thought was endearing but was really getting bored of. I told you I don’t loan books, and you promised you’d read it right away, and I’d get it back. So I brought it to you.
Well . . . it’s been three years, and I guess my plot to help you become a better person didn’t work, because I still don’t have my book. I guess I could have been nicer, too. Maybe you’re holding it hostage until I return that call from three years ago.
If that’s the case, my bad.