You do a nice thing—lend a girl your flannel to keep her warm, for example—and then you find yourself flanelless. Life isn’t supposed to work like this, right?
Share your misery. Get your stuff back. Tell us: who’s your Chelsea?
What we’re looking for: Stories about anything you’ve lost, tangible or intangible, because someone took it and didn’t give it back. (I know, how rude!)
You can either submit a one-or-two-liner about something you want back, or a whole story about it. In either case we need your name, your age, and your profession.
Please subject your email like this: Person I Want My Something Back.
We’re not here to slander anyone. While we do appreciate and empathize with your loss, we aren’t meanies. We know that you are upset. Still, if you call someone a bitch in the first sentence, we probably won’t publish your story (except, let’s say, if they stole your VHS of Reality Bites or they worked at Bitch magazine). It’s just good manners.
This works best if you use real first names. No last names allowed. If you really, really don’t want to use your actual first names, acronymize.
For all you little Dostoevskys out there, try to keep your stories somewhere between brief and reasonable. And if you have photos or drawings, send those along, too!
You can email us: CIWMFB@gmail.com
or send us things through the mail:
P.O. Box 3630/Oakland, CA 94609
Maybe you’ll get your stuff back.
We’re bitter. But we’re hopeful, too.